TNA Impact Review 5/25/06

A IIt's funny because I'm actually dreading when Impact becomes the "Kurt Angle Show". I am forgoing spoilers other than what I remember, so for this show they advertised Low Ki in action and another qualifier for KotM. I'm hoping for a tag team match, and to see more of an unstable Scott Steiner. 

X Division 4 Way Match: Alex Shelley vs Shenshi vs Shark Boy vs Jay Lethal

It looks like a tag match but it's a four way with only two legal men at a time. Senshi works so stiff and at a certain point he chest chopped Shelley really hard an you saw Shelley give him a "what the fuck" look. Next, Shelley really reared back and unloaded a hard stiff chop to Senshi. There was an awesome spot where Sharkboy powerbombed Senshi who wassuplexing both Lethal and Shelley from the top rope. A lot of high spots in this one but it was great seeing the young undercard guys. Of course Senshi wins, (he was hyped last episode) with a stiff as he'll looking double foot stomp from the top rope. 

Then for the next minute he looks like he's going to eat a baby. 

Post Match Beatdown: Kevin Nash

Kevin keeps up his shtick of beating up on beaten X-Division guys and powerbombs the fallen Jay Lethal and keeps trying to make his catch phrase, "size matters" catch on. More just immature bullying, probably trying to set up Nash vs Joe or Nash vs X-Division stable. This was thankfully only like a minute. 

KotM Video Package

Recapped Abyss winning and basically explained that the KotM match is just a reverse ladder match. I think they finally realized, "holy shit, no one knows what kind of match this is!"

Match: Diamonds in the Rough vs AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels

I totally forgot about Simon Diamond. Anyway, this match reminded me exactly why I loved TNA. Two awesome tag teams having an actual tag team match, complete with tag moves galore, multiple tags and just great chemistry on the part of both sides. It felt like an actual tag TEAM match and not just four guys split on two sides. Styles did his huge spot where he does a senton to outside the ring and the end came when America's Most Wanted interfered and handed Diamonds the win. 

Yeah. That's Gail Kim before TNA realized that she originally trained as a wrestler, not a model. She's actually pretty ugly. 

Or am I just jealous? 

Segment: Sting Interview

Sting basically hypes TNA as a company before shitting on Jeff Jarrett, once again teasing this match which we all know will never happen on free tv. Then he mentions Scott Steiner and how he's "coming for you too!" 

Segment: James Gang Promo

Kip James was wearing black face, immitating D'von. I think that says all that needs to be said. When they stopped their immature shit that's not funny, the promo was pretty good. They got good heat, and made a lot of smark references to their D-X days and the Dudleys in ECW. 

Raven Video

 

I know at the time Raven was going through a serious illness but damn, he looks horrid. I like his conversational promo style, hell, that's what got him over back in the Flock days. It was further legitimizing the KotM match. 

Segment: JJ and Steiner

Borash is being boring as usual and Double J is delivering his average, run of the mill promo again when for the second time in a row, greatness happens. 

"SHUT UP JEFF!" 

Steiner goes on a rant about pigs, Sting, rednecks, hats and finally tells incoherently about Samoa Joe and says the word "eyeballs" like four times. 

Then he refers to himself as Big Booty Daddy, which I think is fantastic. 

Match: Bobby Roode vs Andy Douglas

The Naturals have a great surfer look. I don't know why they never amounte to anything after TNA got their tv deal. Anyway, decent match, a lot of brawling, nothing too technical, and Roode wins with a Northern Lights, a clothesline to the back of the head. 

After the match, Roode and D'Amour beat up on Douglas. Chase comes for the save, but then Team Canada comes and gangs up on The Naturals. Them Rhino shows up, cleans house and gores A1. 

6 man tag match anyone?

I spoke too soon. That would've been a good idea and given The Naturals a much needed rub. Instead Rhino says that he got a 2 vs 1 match for Slammiversary. It's goin to be Rhino vs Bobby Roode and....

Scott D'Amour!

I think this was misbooked. I would have run The Naturals & Rhino vs A1, Bobby Roode and Eric Young with Scott D'Amour. I know they were runnig a losing streak storyline with The Naturals, but they're just beig booked very weak. Just my 2 cents. 

Segment: Ron Killings

Ron stared at the camera while doing his creepy voodoo dance moves and in general just made me uncomfortable. 

KotM Qualifier: Monty Brown vs Ron Killings

Christian on commentary, and does anyone find it weird that they put the two black guys in this main event? 

It's really obvious that some road agent cornered Christian and gave him a list of things to talk about. The commentary seemed forced and he seemed totally uninterested in doing it. The match was actually pretty good. Both guys showed great athleticism but Ron used his freaky ass dance moves and won. The finish was really anti-climatic but I think it was rushed because they were running out of time. 

Best Match: Diamonds in the Rough vs AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels

Best Moment: When Scott Steiner decided to do his promo without a script

Show Rating: A-

The first two matches were fantastic and the rest were decent. I feel like the main event could have been awesome but they didn't have enough time to work because they were cramming a lot if stuff together. 

I'm going to predict Raven/Jarrett, and Sting/Steiner for the last two matches. And here's another picture of LAX being Hispanic. 

TNA Impact Review: 5/18/06

So here we are. TNA is an hour long on Spike TV. I mark hard for Christian so just a warning there. The '06 World X Cup is in it's finals between Chris Sabin an Petey Williams, both quality workers. And advertised is the X Division champion Samoa Joe in action. Let's watch the show. 

Video Package

An overall package showing highlights of the last few years, focusing on Sting, Scott Steiner, Christian, Rhino and others. I think it was more to show the faces and introduce new viewers to the major players. Cinematically, it was a cool package and I honestly got goosebumps, mainly because a lot of my favorite workers were shown. 

Segment: Setting up King of The Mountain Match

 

Christian Cage, NWA champion comes out and delivers a promo solidifying himself as a face. He demands to see who wants to figh him at Slammiversary and a clusterfuck occurs in which 7 of the main eventers show up including Raven and Monty Brown who I totally forgot about. It was a little sad because The Alpha Male got about 20 seconds on the mic and delivered his catchphrase and there was absolutely zero heat for him. It ended with Larry "how is this guy in a position of authority" Zybysko saying that there are going to be elimination matches for spots at the PPV. 

It was a decent segment until they threw everyone and the kitchen sink and made it feel rushed. 

30 Second Senshi Hype

Low Ki getting a little hype, I never liked him and he did a shitty VoiceOver. 

World X Cup Final: Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin

A great X division match with nice high spots. It's one of those matches that started off average but then built and built into a great tv match. There were about 3 high spots and some tree of woe antics that got great heat from the crowd. What sucked though was that Mike Tenay and the fat guy who I don't feel like looking up (Dom Mitchell?) spent a good portion of the match hyping up the upcoming KotM elimination matches. Listen, I love Scott Steiner too, but you don't have to say his name 8 times in a midcard match. Oh, Sabin won. 

Post Match: Kevin Nash beats on Sabin

This was when Nash was doing his whole "anti-X division" thing. It was a waste of time in my opinion. Nash could be reay funny (Paparrazi Inc promos) but when he tries to act tough, it just comes off as desperate. I think it was a waste of 2 minutes, but if this was the first episode on Spike, then I understand solidifying his character. 

Segment: Jeremy Borash

Jeremy Borash, TNA's answer for Kevin Kelly was backstage hyping up the fact that we didn't know who was getting a match. He shows Abyss, Monty Brown Double J... And then just when I was ready to roll my eyes at this lame set up, Scott Steiner just yells, 

"SHUT UP BORASH!"

And then proceeds to throw a tantrum for no fucking reason. It was awesome. Angry Scott Steiner is so hilarious. It's a shame that he burned every bridge possible, because I'd love to see him back. He's just so entertaining. 

Segment: Ringside Talking

Mike Tenay and Don West (I was close) discuss the KotM qualifiers and go on and on about how they don't know who is getting picked for a match tonight, because obviously there's fucking nothing else to talk about because in 40 minutes, we've only had one god damn match. 

Then Scott Steiner shows up and starts yelling without a mic (because fuck mics) that he wants to fight Sting. Ok, we're setting shit up... Then, because he's in the throughs of a Roid Rage episode, he just starts choking out Don West!

It was actually hilarious. 

Match: Samoa Joe vs. Chase Stephens

At this time, Joe was undefeated, so he continues that streak with a squash match. It was short, to the point, and just showed that Joe could quickly end matches. He won by rear naked choke. After the match, Andy Douglas comes to protect Chase from a further beat down, and Shane Douglas looks concerned in order to get a quick paycheck. 

Joe was originally supposed to be interviewed, but I think they scrambled this quick squash together just so they could say that they had 3 matches on the card.

Segment: Team 3D Interview

They're feuding with the James Gang, and they throw in a lot of references for the smarks. I think they made an ECW reference too. Decent segment. I think it went 30 seconds longer than it should have, but it wasn't horrible. 

KotM Qualifier: Abyss vs Rhino

A good booked match. Obviously using ex-WWE guys who the crowd will know to legitimize the TNA roster. Good back and forth action, both guys hit all their spots nicely. Bobby Rhoode interfered and got gored but that gave Abyss the opening to hit a Black Hole Slam. Abyss advances and Rhino will presumably feud with Team Canada. 

The show ends with a two minute video package hyping the qualification matches for KotM. And Dom West keeps fucking saying, "We could see Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett!"  So I'm assuming we're totally not going to see that but that seems to be what they think will draw. 

Best Match: Williams vs. Sabin

Best Moment: Steiner choking Don West because he's Scott Fucking Steiner

Show Grade: B 

It's an hour long, if we get one good match, I'll be happy. This one had a great match, a squash and a decent main event match. The promos were decent, if not rushed but you have an hour, what do you expect? Conspicuously absent was AJ Styles...

I leave you with a screen shot of LAX who during the World X Cup were being Hispanic near the Spanish announce table. 

Why Review Every Impact?

I think it was early 2004. I just got home from high school and didn't feel like doing homework yet so I turned the tv on in my living room and flipped through the channels. This was back when we only had about 80 channels. 

I was a huge wrestling fan back during the WWF/WCW era and stopped watching around 2002 when it started feeling contrived. 

So there I am, flipping through the channels when I noticed the ring. This ring had six sides. I never saw anything like that before. Then I noticed there was a time limit next to thewrestler's names at the top of the screen. This looked like they were kayfabing hard trying to make it seem like an athletic event. I was pondering why this was on Fox Sports Net and then I saw AJ Styles do his corkscrew drop. 

I was floored. Who the fuck was this guy? Why had I never seen him or heard of him before. He looked cool, his move set was super unique. I continued watching. Jeff Jarrett was there! I loved Double J. Then Team Canada walked out and I was hooked. 

I fell in love with TNA. I marked so hard for them. I started to watch some WWE too but started turning against then after Cena went from a cool anti-hero to a Jesus pushed baby face. 

I started ordering TNA pay per views. They were fantastic. I started inviting my friends over to watch them with me and they got hooked. TNA was our golden child. It was the light in the darkness. Wrestling was going to be saved thanks to TNA. 

Then something happened. I started watching less and less. Just naturally. Then I started hearing grumbles about them. Then Angle and Sting seemed to be the only ones getting air time. The X division was disappearing. The tag teams were stale and just used to push guys to the Main Event. The exciting young workers that drew me to TNA started to be overshadowed and were getting less air time. They got rid of the six sided ring. 

What happened to my hero? TNA was supposed to be the chosen one. Where did it go wrong? Can I pinpoint exactly where the end of TNA as an exciting promotion began? Or even, did we all just write them of too soon?  

I'll being in in May 2006. Christian Cage is the NWA Champion. Samoa Joe is beginning his reign of terror. Everything is looking good. 

Let's find out what happened to my baby.